The Suburban You Page 19

  You know your wife well and know that she had given this idea of coauthoring your book a lot of thought. She has also considered how she would approach you so that you would be most receptive to the concept of her coauthorship. She wants in. She wants your book to be her book too. She does not want to be left out.

  She notices your hesitation to verbalize your thoughts and feelings, which is a common hesitation each time you are asked to express your feelings. She adds, “I just thought that it would be a fun and romantic thing that we could do together.” To which you quickly reply, “If you are looking for something fun and romantic that we could do together for the next several months, why don't we just have a lot of sex?”

  She tells you that she is overly tired and is tapped out from the demands that the kids place on her all day long, or at least when they are not in school seven hours each day. Emphatically, you tell your wife that you know that she has an important job with the kids and that you understand why she doesn't want to have sex. You know that if you had to deal with the demands of your kids from 7:30 to 8:30 every morning and from 3:30 to 6 every evening, with the rest of the day all to yourself, that you too would be too “tapped out” to have sex. She has a demanding job, you know.

  You look at your wife and say, “Honey, I would love to work with you on this project, but this is something that I really have to do on my own.” She says, “Well, it was just an idea.” You do not have sex that night.

  THE SUBURBAN YOU. Copyright © 2004 by Mark Falanga. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. For information, address Broadway Books, a division of Random House, Inc.

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Falanga, Mark, 1958–

  The suburban you / by Mark Falanga.—1st ed.

  p. cm.

  1. Falanga, Mark, 1958– 2. Suburbanites—United States—Biography.

  3. Suburban life—Humor. I. Title.

  HT352.U6F35 2004

  307.74'092—dc22

  2004045777

  eISBN: 978-0-7679-1966-1

  v3.0